suicide and relationships

imma b real with yall n put my business out there cuz i honestly dont care what you think i want you to learn from my experience. i also know not many cant take someone else's experiences and learn from them (to each its own right?) well read and i hope u learn...

I created a friendship with someone out of pure laughter and from there it deepened. there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. the problem begins when u love too hard too quick and when your not expecting it. I told her im completely different from the rest and she ignored it(i kno everyone says it but im tellin the truth, im from Saturn they say lol). After 4 months of talking and laughing she said "i love you" by accident. what eva i let it go. Sooner or later we made it official and everything changed. Mind you this was a long distance relationship.

I began to notice signs of jealousy. (im a friends person i love and live for my friends ,always have and always will). when it was time for me to be with my girls she never understood i needed "me time". She thought becuz she got holl@ (hollered at) everyday all day she began to think it happened to me 2. She also thought i would betray her like her X did to her for so many years. THE BIGGEST PROBLEM; opening a wound that has not yet fully healed. I constantly told her over and over again "i use to be a dog and when im single all hell can break lose but when im with someone its me n u no1 else in the world" she didnt listen. for the 1st 3 months i cried every nt about something different; from what i could and could not call her to me going to the club every wkend or even what i wear or simple text messages...

As time went on i realized i couldn't deal my love stopped growing, i became less interested but when i told her i need space to think she flipped. then i said fuck it all im thru it became worse. Secrets about bi-polar, manic depression and so on running thru her family came out. I and i knew it was goin to get ugly so i went on DL and asked for advice and some gave it to me. All in all i had to break up with her i was stressing and even if she had an episode i was half a country away and couldn't do anything about it. After we broke up and i didn't call her for 3 days i received horrible emails, aims, texts u name it i got it. callin me out my name sayin she wants ha shit back..then the calm b4 the storm came sayin she was sorry and saying tha she jus wanted me to be happy but she cant live without me and if she cant be with me then shes good. Shes gonna text me lata "will i go to her funeral?". LAWD i was crying for ova 5 hrs cuz i don want to be guilty, or the reason for her committing suicide.(there's so much more to the story) how would i feel after her mom calls me n says oh i found the note saying ur the reason y she killed herself? How am i to deal with a situation like this???
Thank goD for MimSqB cuz if it wasnt for her i would still b crying right now. This convo with the X lasted 5 hrs when it hit 5 am i texted her n neva got a response. Its now one day later and i received no phone calls texts or anything from her mother or her. I jus pray she is alright. I just want you to learn from my experience; plz take advantage of knowledge and learning the signs of different types of depressions, behaviors and characteristics in a person. I know you can act any way with one person and another with a different person. Eventually you will see the truth evolve from within. One can only act for so long before they become restless. Do not rush into a relationship becuz it FEELs right. We all know that you can live with someone your whole life and still not know everything about them...

lv ur thoughts